Getting her smooch on

In fact my husband complains that I've done a kissing scene with a man in another movie and I don't look as convincing as I do with Nandita [Das], and he wants to know what that's all about.

-- Shabana Azmi

Source: a fab interview posted here on the BollyWHAT? forum; I don't have the original source, but the interview is probably about 4 years old.

This comment made me spit out my coffee the first time I read it and still tickles me. But I've always wondered, what movie does it refer to? I didn't think it was this, from Fakira...



... because as cute and tasty as that is, the screencap is actually a little misleading; this kiss happens as the two actors are turning away from the camera and, in motion, is really more of a Bollywood-ishtyle simulacrum of a kiss than it looks in the still.

Well I have, by the wonderful magic of YouTube, accidentally stumbled upon the following, which is probably the scene Shabana ji was talking about in the above-quoted remark. Hold onto your socks, folks; wait for the second half of the clip.



Oh my! That is from the 1992 British film with the unpromising title Immaculate Conception, a film about which I know absolutely nothing. Have any of you seen it? At any rate, as startling as the clip is, I am inclined to agree with Javed sahib: Fire was more convincing.

"Kya tumne hai keh diya" - Saaz

Last weekend I saw an absolutely outstanding concert by Zakir Hussain - it was the fourth or fifth time I've seen him and let me tell you, if you ever have the chance to see him, just drop everything and go. Anyhow in light of that wonderful experience it seemed appropriate that the first post-hiatus Shabana-gaana should be "Kya tumne hai keh diya" from Sai Paranjpe's Saaz - featuring both Shabana Azmi and Zakir sahib. I've not seen this movie yet but I've got it in my collection, and as Sai Paranjpe is well on her way to becoming one of my favorite directors, I'm sure I'll watch it in the near future. Enjoy the song.

Gratuitious screencaps: Adharm (1992)

Has anyone seen this masala movie in which Shabana Azmi appeared with Sanjay Dutt? I haven't, but Gebruss from the BollyWHAT? forums, a staunch Sanju fan, did, and shared some screencaps with me.

It's well established that I am deeply partial to 1990s Shabana; I think she looks just gorgeous here, even though I'm not that eager to see the film.

Two ghazals from In Custody (1993)

I stumbled across this week's Shabana-gaana about a week ago, and I've already watched the clip four or five times. It's simply outstanding.



In this clip, in addition to Shabana Azmi, you will also see Om Puri and Shashi Kapoor (looking a little rounder than he was in the song I posted last week - I didn't recognize him at first; I found myself thinking "That fellow looks rather like a KapooOH MY GOD."). It's from Ismail Merchant's In Custody, yet another film sitting in my to-be-watched pile. The dialogue toward the end of the clip provides some context; it seems quite bitter and sad.

In case you weren't sure, Shabana ji is singing her own ghazals in this clip. Having listened to the ghazal "Gulab jism ka" from Anjuman an unholy number of times (it's available on iTunes), I'd know her singing voice anywhere, especially singing a ghazal. (ETA: And the mind plays tricks; I was completely wrong about that. I should have said "I'd hear her singing voice anywhere" rather than "I'd know ...." See the comments.) What a clip - outstanding!

"Raja ki kahani," Godmother (1999)

There's really nothing I can say in introduction to this week's Shabana-gaana. If you've seen Godmother, you already know how awesome this is. If you haven't seen Godmother, you will probably want to after you watch this video.

Ek doctor ki maut (1991)

I recently watched Tapan Sinha's 1991 film Ek doctor ki maut. It's a film about a maverick scientist who devises a vaccine for leprosy, but is met with some resistance from the scientific establishment when he publicizes his results.

You can read my review of it here at Filmi Geek; I was a little disappointed with it, but that's all in the review and I won't belabor it here. Other than my own comments, most of the opinions I've heard of the film are very favorable, so if you like, you can head on over to Jaman and watch it for yourself.

Shabana Azmi plays the scientist's wife. In the beginning of the film, the scientist treats her very poorly; he is obsessed with his work and seems to regard her more as a servant than a companion, heaping abuses on her and making petulant demands. She debates leaving him, but decides to stay because, as she puts it, "I can't get over my love for you, even though I've tried." Later her patience is rewarded as, in the film's best-handled arc, he comes to realize how much he relies on her and needs her.

Shabana ji's performance could have been as good as ever, except that it was burdened by an excessive script that just had her talking too much. Tapan Sinha had India's subtlest and most expressive actor at his disposal, but instead of letting her use that subtlety, he stifled her with exposition; she narrates her emotions for her husband - and for the audience - and it interferes with her ability to just be real and convey the emotions by feeling them.

Still, she gives an excellent performance within the limitations of the script, and the film isn't awful. Most people who care about Shabana Azmi enough to read this website would probably find it worth the time, though there are many movies of hers I would recommend before this one - one contemporaneous film that I like much better, and in which she plays a not entirely dissimilar role, is Dharavi, also available from Jaman.

In Ek doctor ki maut, Shabana ji looks absolutely wonderful, which is not without value when the film waxes a little ponderous. Here are some more gratuitous screen captures to go with the one at the top of this post, which makes me go particularly goo-headed.

















(PS: Does everyone know what tomorrow is? Stay tuned for something that I hope will be a little special in honor of the day.)

Shouldn't I get some kind of award for this much devotion?

So how much do I love Shabana Azmi? Enough to watch Son of the Pink Panther.

I didn't plan to watch it. I've got enough DVDs lying around waiting to be watched that if I set out to spend an evening with milady I could do better. Much better. But when I saw this one among my cable provider's offerings, I couldn't resist giving it a look.

I can think of a number of reasons why, at a certain time in her life, Shabana ji would have been interested in testing the waters of Hollywood productions. And some of the Hollywood movies she did in those days were probably not half bad.

Come to think of it, Son of the Pink Panther is also not half bad. It is all bad. (Blake Edwards is responsible for this film, as he is pretty much all of the Pink Panther franchise; he's also responsible for one of my favorite films of all time, Breakfast at Tiffany's. I guess we all have good days and bad days.) IMDB users collectively have given Son of the Pink Panther a rating of 3.3 out of 10 stars. 3.3, folks. That doesn't crack IMDB's bottom 100 - thank God for films like Teen Wolf Too and Shanghai Surprise - but even Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space, which has cult status as the "worst film ever made," has 3.4 stars. Even Warren Beatty's legendary flop Ishtar gets 3.5. Son of the Pink Panther is in some illustrious company, folks.

So what is Shabana Azmi doing in this film? Looking gorgeous, mostly, and outclassing every actor with whom she shares the screen. But even she can't spin gold from the dreadful dialogue or provide any kind of direction to the plot. And she's only on screen for about 4 minutes all told, which left me wading through 91 minutes of incoherent story and tired slapstick.




There you are; "the queen."



Hooray! She doesn't appear until about 35 minutes into the film, but it's worth the wait, because she looks completely fabulous. See that naughty smile?



This lady is up to no good. She is the wife of the emir or sultan or whatever he is of Lugash, the Pink Panther franchise's favorite fictional Middle Eastern nation. The emir's daughter (by his first wife, now deceased) has been kidnapped by some baddies of unspecified provenance, who demand $100 million in exchange for her safe return, plus the emir's abdication. The emir doesn't seem all that concerned about his daughter, and neither does the queen. I think that's because she's behind the plot. But don't quote me on that, because such details of the film's storyline are very sketchy - what the queen is actually up to is never quite made clear. Perhaps she is scheming for the overthrow of the emir, in a bid to grab the throne for her lover, Sinister Military Man. But I'm not certain.

I don't think the crummy screencaps (actually photographs of my TV screen) are really doing justice to the hotness of Shabana, and certainly not to the atrocity of the dialogue.


Shabana: He knows that we are sleeping together.
Sinister Military Man: Do you think that is all he knows?
Shabana: Yes, or by now you would be soup for my supper! *kiss* (Actually, a Bollywood-style fake kiss. What's that all about?)

Later, she phones Sinister Man to confirm some details of the sinister plan, or something. Again, the point of this telephone call is not entirely clear. Sinister Man is in bed with another woman, but he pauses in mid-frolic to answer the phone.


Shabana: Are you alone?
Sinister Man: No. I am in bed with a beautiful woman.
Shabana: Don't tease. Not even in fun.

Vaah, vaah! Javed sahib himself could not have done better. (That's sarcasm, folks.)

That's about it for Shabana ji's scenes. Eventually the film's hero - Inspector Clouseau's son, hence the title - tracks down the princess and, in his familiar blundering way, manages to rescue her. The fate of the queen and her unfaithful mustachioed lover is left unresolved. The last time we see them, they are looking perturbed at the news that Clouseau Jr. is on his way to their little kingdom. "That can mean only one thing," says the queen dramatically, but she doesn't share with us what that one thing might be, and they do not figure in either the film's climax or its denoument.

I can't say for sure that Son of the Pink Panther is Shabana Azmi's worst movie ever. There are bound to be some true clunkers in a career that has generated 140 films. Even today about half of her films are not available on DVD, and this suggests that there are some real stinkers that have been justly forgotten in the mists of time. Still, it's hard to imagine Shabana ji in a film much worse than this one. And yet I sat through it, just for a few moments of milady. Aisa mera pyaar hai!

Dharavi (1992)

I've just reviewed Sudhir Mishra's excellent 1992 film Dharavi, starring Om Puri and Shabana Azmi - you can read the review on Filmi Geek.

In the review, I did not discuss Shabana ji's performance - it says something about her skill, I think, that even an excellent performance can be an unremarkable thing when one sits down to comment on one of her films. In Dharavi, I particularly liked the physicality of her work; the way she carried herself, even the way she sat, was very different from her own natural bearing and yet still very natural. Her character spent most of the film angry or frustrated or despairing, but there were some smiles as well.

Here are some screencaps.

















I am very partial to Shabana ji's looks at this time, in her early-mid 40s - not that she wasn't completely lovely before, or isn't still - but I think because the first films I saw of hers were from the 1990s, this is what she looks like in my mind's eye.